The Edge Of Reason

Chapter Seven
April 27th, 2004

"Propose her", Vinod said.
"What?"
"Come on man. Tell her that you love her. Propose to her. Otherwise how will she ever know that you love her?"
"No" I said. "I cannot do that"
"Why?"
"I don't know. I can't do that"
"Are you mad? Don't be stupid. Go and tell her"
"What if she doesn’t accept?" I argued.
"Aha...the same classical doubt. See. If she accepts, it’s well and good. If she does not accept, there is nothing to lose".
“She must have had a million proposals come her way and I know she rejected all of ‘em all , now she will categorize me in the same list, guys on this list propose a girl just like that…to give a try, that is shit cheap. I love Priya as a person and not because she is Priya Singh and I just cannot imagine my world without her or with her in a fractured relationship. If she starts hating me for this, am screwed for life, I’ll lose the best friend I’ve ever had. Hmmm... I will try" I said.
"Let me give you an advice. Make sure the day that you tell her is a special day. If it’s a special day, your proposal looks special. Again don't ask me how it works. But that's just my gut feeling. Now All the Best" Vinod said.

I have seen in many movies how boys propose to girls and vice versa. But I never thought that I would fall in the same situation. I bet proposing a girl is the most difficult thing in the world. You ask a girl to be your life partner and you expect her to take the decision of her life then and there itself. This is related to a life of two persons. After much thought, I decided to tell her on her birthday. That's a special day. Her birthday is still three months away. I have ample time to prepare for myself.

All these three months I watched as many movies as I could. I interviewed many couples and gathered the minutes of their first proposals. I read many novels and came out with a beautiful poem. I wrote it on a paper and practiced it everyday. I searched hundreds of shops for a good gift to give to her on her birthday. I prepared myself completely for the D-Day.

July 22nd, 2004 - The D-Day

"Happy Birthday Priya" I said giving her the bouquet I brought. Its 8:30 in the evening.
I reserved a couple seat in one of the best restaurants in Pune.
"The restaurant looks good" She said.
"Yes. This is one of the best in the city. The food here is very delicious. Order what you like" I said handing her the menu card.
"Candle light dinner, good music,lovely ambience. What's up?" She asked.
"N...Nothing. Just wanted to give you a surprise on your birthday" I said.
"Good. I am impressed Mr.Aaryan"
Though I have practiced for three months, I could not gather the courage. Forget the poem; here I am searching for words on how to start.
"I will tell her after the dinner" I thought.
We finished the dinner in thirty minutes. But those thirty minutes were like thirty years. I never felt so tensed in my entire life.
"Priya…" I called. My voice was so low that even I couldn't hear it clearly.
"Priya…" I called her again.
"What?" she asked.
"I wanted to say something” I said.
"What is it?"
My mind went blank for a second.
"Where did you buy this dress? It’s beautiful" I said.
"Oh... this one? I picked it up from a shop near Andheri Station" she said.
"What is the name of the shop?" I asked.
"I don't remember. But if you want to buy a dress for yourself, let me tell you that it’s a ladies shop" she said laughing.
I gave foolish smile. The time is passing slowly. I felt as if all the seconds are suddenly converted to hours.
"Let's go" she said. "It’s already 10:00 PM. I have a meeting early in the morning tomorrow. I have to prepare for it"
"Chalo… Let's push off" I said.

I am a fool. All the efforts and all the preparations that I made over these three months have gone waste. I was not able to tell Priya that I love her. I was so tensed that I even forgot to give her the birthday gift I bought. Instead I was asking her about her dress and all. What a dumb head! I don't know how people say the three letter word 'I Love You' so easily. Why? Why did I feel so tensed? I don't know. Don't even ask me. I have no answer.

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