Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Vinod laughed at me when he heard what I had done. But I could not help myself. Months passed by. But I did not tell Priya. Every time I tried to tell her, I spoke of every god damn thing under the sun, other than what was to be said. August 8th - the day we first met, November 12th - Diwali, January 1st 2005 - New Year day - all the days I tried to tell her but could not. Meanwhile my father got transferred to Hyderabad and my going to Mumbai on weekends stopped.
January 15th, 2005
"What is your problem?" Vinod asked. "Why do you feel so tensed?"
"I cannot say this" I said.
"But Why?"
"I am afraid" I said.
"Afraid? Of what?"
"I don't know how she will react if I say that I love her. What if she doesn’t take it positively? What if she stops talking to me after that? What if she abandons our friendship?"
"Why do you think like that? It does not happen that way"
"No… Girls are very sensitive in this matter and Priya is not an exception to it. She is so sensitive that she cries when she sees some tragic scene in a movie. If she feels bad about what I said and leaves me, I cannot bear it"
"She likes you or may be she loves you. Just give her a chance. Express yourself"
"No... I don't have courage to take that chance. I cannot lose her because of my foolishness"
"You are her best friend. It will make her accept your love" Vinod said trying to convince me.
"I don't want our friendship to come in between my love" I said.
"What do you mean?"
"She must not feel forced to accept my proposal because of our friendship. She must not accept it just because I feel bad if she won't accept,friendship and love are to abso-bloody-lutely disjoint sets!"
"So?"
"Let me explain. Some people do not fall in love. They are forced to fall in Love. Say a boy proposes to a girl. Let me tell you what most of the girls think - I need to marry someone. This guy has proposed me. He is not bad. He looks good. Let me accept the proposal. The same happens with the boys also. Here a person is forced by other. And believe me 90% of Love stories start from one person and that one person forces the other to love him or her. May be afterwards the boy or girl starts liking him truly. But it’s not complete from both sides"
"What do you want to say?"
"In my opinion, true love begins only at one point. It spreads to other. But in my case, I don’t want that to happen. I want it to happen from both sides. I don't want to force my love up on Priya"
"You are talking like a person with a lot of experience"
"You don't need experience for it. Just fall in Love once and you will understand" I said.
"I will do one thing. I will ask Priya and will get her opinion about you. What do you say?" Vinod said.
"No, I don't want a third person involving in this." I said.
"Then, How will you know that Priya loves you or not?" Vinod said. "How many days will you wait like this?"
"I don't know. I only know that I love a girl and it will take me to her"
"This is foolishness" Vinod said.
"No." I said. "Love needs patience. If you have no patience to wait for your partner, you cannot love her"
"These dialogues look good in movies especially those Yash Chopra movies but not in real life. You are mad." Vinod said leaving.
The discussion I had with Vinod made me think. Is Vinod correct? Does true love exist only in movies or novels? Do I need to take a chance? Do I need to express myself before her? Somehow I wasn’t convinced. I was in a dilemma. I could not make any decision.
"Go!" Vinod said one day. "Tell her. Who knows she might also be thinking the same "
"But..."
"Don't think too much. I respect your thoughts. Whatever you say is good to listen but it does not happen in practical world. Be practical. Just use your brain"
I started thinking about it. May be Vinod is right. I am thinking too much. I must take a chance. Finally I decided to take one last chance on the Valentine's Day.
But, Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. You never know what lies ahead…
Vinod laughed at me when he heard what I had done. But I could not help myself. Months passed by. But I did not tell Priya. Every time I tried to tell her, I spoke of every god damn thing under the sun, other than what was to be said. August 8th - the day we first met, November 12th - Diwali, January 1st 2005 - New Year day - all the days I tried to tell her but could not. Meanwhile my father got transferred to Hyderabad and my going to Mumbai on weekends stopped.
January 15th, 2005
"What is your problem?" Vinod asked. "Why do you feel so tensed?"
"I cannot say this" I said.
"But Why?"
"I am afraid" I said.
"Afraid? Of what?"
"I don't know how she will react if I say that I love her. What if she doesn’t take it positively? What if she stops talking to me after that? What if she abandons our friendship?"
"Why do you think like that? It does not happen that way"
"No… Girls are very sensitive in this matter and Priya is not an exception to it. She is so sensitive that she cries when she sees some tragic scene in a movie. If she feels bad about what I said and leaves me, I cannot bear it"
"She likes you or may be she loves you. Just give her a chance. Express yourself"
"No... I don't have courage to take that chance. I cannot lose her because of my foolishness"
"You are her best friend. It will make her accept your love" Vinod said trying to convince me.
"I don't want our friendship to come in between my love" I said.
"What do you mean?"
"She must not feel forced to accept my proposal because of our friendship. She must not accept it just because I feel bad if she won't accept,friendship and love are to abso-bloody-lutely disjoint sets!"
"So?"
"Let me explain. Some people do not fall in love. They are forced to fall in Love. Say a boy proposes to a girl. Let me tell you what most of the girls think - I need to marry someone. This guy has proposed me. He is not bad. He looks good. Let me accept the proposal. The same happens with the boys also. Here a person is forced by other. And believe me 90% of Love stories start from one person and that one person forces the other to love him or her. May be afterwards the boy or girl starts liking him truly. But it’s not complete from both sides"
"What do you want to say?"
"In my opinion, true love begins only at one point. It spreads to other. But in my case, I don’t want that to happen. I want it to happen from both sides. I don't want to force my love up on Priya"
"You are talking like a person with a lot of experience"
"You don't need experience for it. Just fall in Love once and you will understand" I said.
"I will do one thing. I will ask Priya and will get her opinion about you. What do you say?" Vinod said.
"No, I don't want a third person involving in this." I said.
"Then, How will you know that Priya loves you or not?" Vinod said. "How many days will you wait like this?"
"I don't know. I only know that I love a girl and it will take me to her"
"This is foolishness" Vinod said.
"No." I said. "Love needs patience. If you have no patience to wait for your partner, you cannot love her"
"These dialogues look good in movies especially those Yash Chopra movies but not in real life. You are mad." Vinod said leaving.
The discussion I had with Vinod made me think. Is Vinod correct? Does true love exist only in movies or novels? Do I need to take a chance? Do I need to express myself before her? Somehow I wasn’t convinced. I was in a dilemma. I could not make any decision.
"Go!" Vinod said one day. "Tell her. Who knows she might also be thinking the same "
"But..."
"Don't think too much. I respect your thoughts. Whatever you say is good to listen but it does not happen in practical world. Be practical. Just use your brain"
I started thinking about it. May be Vinod is right. I am thinking too much. I must take a chance. Finally I decided to take one last chance on the Valentine's Day.
But, Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. You never know what lies ahead…
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on Monday, July 16, 2007 at 5:57 AM.
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