The Famous Moustache n All
Hitler, Veerappan, Moses ... certain bloggers.Does it ring a bell?Yes you got it right! People of remarkable intelligence, handsome, suave and having an efficacious mouch! The grand epochal moustache!!!
I do as a kid remember the most common technique to scare us were twirling of the moustache by an otherwise harmless uncle, though last I heard in recent years has been effectively replaced by H-rated cassettes (yes Himesh bhai). Personally for me mouch has always deeply impacted history, culture and mankind in general as much as on mamookoyya.
I recently came to know that moustaches and beard in spite of their profound importance have never been analyzed in a proper way. I hope to provide insights which might some day land me a ‘Mathew hall of fame’ or a ‘Reverend Mathew Fellowship award ’ or something like that…Not that I am after the awards...You obviously understand that I don’t have such cheap and juvenile aspirations...isn’t?
Well considering the air of intellectualism that we feel on mentioning different art styles like cubism, Neoclassicism and other such inexplicable ‘isms’, I thought of naming the mouch-beard styles in similar fashion. Well after all there is nothing more than such complicated incoherent isms which people love to claim to be fans of. My classification was however named in layman lingua.
HUSKY-ISKY-DOSTO-VESKY
Easily the most easily recognizable of all and sported since ancient times...You could have been the sex symbol among cavewoman if you had one of these...And in modern times understanding the several variations of it is an art in itself. This style in various forms could stand for an intellectual...a homeless man or a lovable grandpa. You probably might have heard of the clean-shaven guy who was not allowed inside ‘The Socrates society conference on Freudian principles ’. He apparently came naked per standards for such events as some human look alike from the Dostoevsky clan later remarked during the press conference. The intellectuality increased with the unkemptness of the hair and it is always a bonus if the hair is graying with wisdom or poor hygiene…either way.
For many others it is simply the brand USP…It is simply technically impossible to be a homeless poor man without a beard and long hair…My Landlord always gives few rupees more to the guy with the longer and messier beard... Well on the positive side a more lovable and cuddly version of the Dostoevsky is found in Santa Klaus…Apparently no one would hate a guy who is coming in with gifts!…eh. Someone did take a step further ahead by improvising that look. Legend as says one old fella did go for beard straightening in an obscure Pune barbershop and voila got that charismatic look. Most people don’t realize that when Osho tells you to sing Hare Rama Hare Krishna…he meant Hare in the rabbit sense as tribute to his hairy turnaround.
GUJRAL LE GOATEE
I remember the first time it got my attention when a major politician appeared on the scene. And security was so fool proof those times that he traveled around in 15 similar looking ambassadors and all that...Equally ingenious was when in public the presence of high breed Cashmere goats threw tantrums and kept those Osama’s and bin Laden’s guessing. It was not until several years later someone started appearing in television asking kaun banega crorepati did this style caught popular imagination.
GRAZED FIELD
This is the favorite of the current generation…We think that woman would find it hot and sexy although most men sport it because they are just plain lazy to shave everyday…I think it became a trend with Hrithik Roshan sporting this style as many guys did try this out but personal movies turned out to be ‘kahin na pyaar hai’.
L'ARTISTE BARBE
Very thick moustaches and well-cropped beard symbolizes them…Although many of them prefer ‘Dostoevsky’ style too. The lips are invariably hidden deep beneath several strata’s of facial hair as archeologists have found out…They bloom out only during auspicious times like while consuming food... Khushwant Singh of younger times was a classic example. The stroking of the beard in subtle strokes while talking to the press is considered as unavoidable physical strain for such people. Many a hairy tales were written by such writers simply coz it was frustrating to eat shahi paneer flaked with beard sediments.
AHAMADINEJAD
(this is not a random group of letters or a Mensa puzzle)It is not classical in any sense...Because if that guy wore a check shirt and mundu he could easily pass of a high school maashu at any school in malapurram...This retro style is slightly unpopular in United States though. In Malayalam lingo we would call it an alavalathi shaji style...
VISUAL BASIC PACKAGE
Most common these days...partly due to lack of hair and primarily due to new improved electric shavers... Important for doctors and IT specialist to give that niche look…Note that it could be fatal as recent studies have shown that most software engineers suffer from irreparable damages on the face due to ‘hurry-in-the-morning-shave’ syndrome. …Also it is an easy invitation to be called cute ONLY if you are Federer or Aamir Khan. Many politicians have tried to portray a clean image using the VB technique but have miserably failed…for example sake the first wonder…
THE POLICE
This is found only in parts of India… Inspired by Bhima of Mahabharata and particularly intended to emphasize the friendly face of the police…In literary circles often used an antonym to the word ‘cute’…Most common practitioners are narasimhams and valiyettans…Forest bandits do sport this look for academic sake ..
KAMAL HAS’NT SHAVED
Not many have managed to capture it on frame as it is illusionary in nature. As legend says Kamal doesn’t recognize himself at times when he looks in the mirror. Not surprising why he has to have 10 passports while he was shooting for dasavatharam…
LOL OMG!
And I know what come in the mind …yes..yes..the moustache up there..
Well that is the symbol of impeccable style and glamour... ;-P
P.S. While checking about beards in wikipedia something under Barber's guide to men's facial hair styles, circa 1900.…Do check out..Man it would have been real fun walking the streets in the 1800’s… I would have had a hell of a time walking down the streets those days..esp if any mutton chaps or the Pork walked by..
I do as a kid remember the most common technique to scare us were twirling of the moustache by an otherwise harmless uncle, though last I heard in recent years has been effectively replaced by H-rated cassettes (yes Himesh bhai). Personally for me mouch has always deeply impacted history, culture and mankind in general as much as on mamookoyya.
I recently came to know that moustaches and beard in spite of their profound importance have never been analyzed in a proper way. I hope to provide insights which might some day land me a ‘Mathew hall of fame’ or a ‘Reverend Mathew Fellowship award ’ or something like that…Not that I am after the awards...You obviously understand that I don’t have such cheap and juvenile aspirations...isn’t?
Well considering the air of intellectualism that we feel on mentioning different art styles like cubism, Neoclassicism and other such inexplicable ‘isms’, I thought of naming the mouch-beard styles in similar fashion. Well after all there is nothing more than such complicated incoherent isms which people love to claim to be fans of. My classification was however named in layman lingua.
HUSKY-ISKY-DOSTO-VESKY
Easily the most easily recognizable of all and sported since ancient times...You could have been the sex symbol among cavewoman if you had one of these...And in modern times understanding the several variations of it is an art in itself. This style in various forms could stand for an intellectual...a homeless man or a lovable grandpa. You probably might have heard of the clean-shaven guy who was not allowed inside ‘The Socrates society conference on Freudian principles ’. He apparently came naked per standards for such events as some human look alike from the Dostoevsky clan later remarked during the press conference. The intellectuality increased with the unkemptness of the hair and it is always a bonus if the hair is graying with wisdom or poor hygiene…either way.
For many others it is simply the brand USP…It is simply technically impossible to be a homeless poor man without a beard and long hair…My Landlord always gives few rupees more to the guy with the longer and messier beard... Well on the positive side a more lovable and cuddly version of the Dostoevsky is found in Santa Klaus…Apparently no one would hate a guy who is coming in with gifts!…eh. Someone did take a step further ahead by improvising that look. Legend as says one old fella did go for beard straightening in an obscure Pune barbershop and voila got that charismatic look. Most people don’t realize that when Osho tells you to sing Hare Rama Hare Krishna…he meant Hare in the rabbit sense as tribute to his hairy turnaround.
GUJRAL LE GOATEE
I remember the first time it got my attention when a major politician appeared on the scene. And security was so fool proof those times that he traveled around in 15 similar looking ambassadors and all that...Equally ingenious was when in public the presence of high breed Cashmere goats threw tantrums and kept those Osama’s and bin Laden’s guessing. It was not until several years later someone started appearing in television asking kaun banega crorepati did this style caught popular imagination.
GRAZED FIELD
This is the favorite of the current generation…We think that woman would find it hot and sexy although most men sport it because they are just plain lazy to shave everyday…I think it became a trend with Hrithik Roshan sporting this style as many guys did try this out but personal movies turned out to be ‘kahin na pyaar hai’.
L'ARTISTE BARBE
Very thick moustaches and well-cropped beard symbolizes them…Although many of them prefer ‘Dostoevsky’ style too. The lips are invariably hidden deep beneath several strata’s of facial hair as archeologists have found out…They bloom out only during auspicious times like while consuming food... Khushwant Singh of younger times was a classic example. The stroking of the beard in subtle strokes while talking to the press is considered as unavoidable physical strain for such people. Many a hairy tales were written by such writers simply coz it was frustrating to eat shahi paneer flaked with beard sediments.
AHAMADINEJAD
(this is not a random group of letters or a Mensa puzzle)It is not classical in any sense...Because if that guy wore a check shirt and mundu he could easily pass of a high school maashu at any school in malapurram...This retro style is slightly unpopular in United States though. In Malayalam lingo we would call it an alavalathi shaji style...
VISUAL BASIC PACKAGE
Most common these days...partly due to lack of hair and primarily due to new improved electric shavers... Important for doctors and IT specialist to give that niche look…Note that it could be fatal as recent studies have shown that most software engineers suffer from irreparable damages on the face due to ‘hurry-in-the-morning-shave’ syndrome. …Also it is an easy invitation to be called cute ONLY if you are Federer or Aamir Khan. Many politicians have tried to portray a clean image using the VB technique but have miserably failed…for example sake the first wonder…
THE POLICE
This is found only in parts of India… Inspired by Bhima of Mahabharata and particularly intended to emphasize the friendly face of the police…In literary circles often used an antonym to the word ‘cute’…Most common practitioners are narasimhams and valiyettans…Forest bandits do sport this look for academic sake ..
KAMAL HAS’NT SHAVED
Not many have managed to capture it on frame as it is illusionary in nature. As legend says Kamal doesn’t recognize himself at times when he looks in the mirror. Not surprising why he has to have 10 passports while he was shooting for dasavatharam…
LOL OMG!
And I know what come in the mind …yes..yes..the moustache up there..
Well that is the symbol of impeccable style and glamour... ;-P
P.S. While checking about beards in wikipedia something under Barber's guide to men's facial hair styles, circa 1900.…Do check out..Man it would have been real fun walking the streets in the 1800’s… I would have had a hell of a time walking down the streets those days..esp if any mutton chaps or the Pork walked by..
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